I was going to try Dallas Presbyterian for treatment, but my insurance will be up at the end of the month, so I'm not sure it will help. I'm thinking of starting a new plan and actually TRYING to get better on my own. That plan, if I decide on it, will consist of going to therapy at the school's health center twice a week and attending the EDAnon meetings in Dallas each week. I really don't want to drop out of school. I'm sorry this post is so whiny, but does any one have TIPS for active recovery which really help them? My main goal is to abstain from binging. I won't purge small meals, and I'll work on body image and self esteem in therapy. It's the actions that need to stop first.
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luckytexas13- luckytexas13
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take care hun, best of luck!!!
if you only have one year left for a college degree in psychology you surely have accomplished something!
but I do know what you mean, there have been so many things I could/should have done if it weren't for being eating disordered and depressed. and recently everything has just escalated, I'm in law school and last term (well, it hasn't ended yet, it does on wednesday) has been a cathastrophy. sorry for rambling, guess I just want to say that I understand you - I turned 24 the other week and had the same thoughts you have.
at first I got a bit sceptical when reading about getting better on your own, 'cos I thought you meant completely on your own --
-- but your plan sounds like a good idea. well, I don't really know anything about you - or anything about recovering for that matter -
but no harm in trying, right? and if it doesn't help you like you wanted - you know it's not the right way for you and you will still probably have learned something/discovered things about yourself.
sorry for not having any more subtantial tips.
and don't apologize for a whiny post, after all, isn't that partly what this livejournal thing is about? I call it reflecting. :)
I've been thinking about your question about recovery..... I think it's very different for everyone, but the main thing you need is motivation. If you are tired of dealing with this garbage and having it hold you back in your life, that sets you ahead starting off recovery. I think for me it was a combination of things. Therapy was helpful and important but not everything. I didn't go through any IP treatment that made a big difference. Yes I was IP 3 brief times one year, but it didn't change things too much. School and progress towards my degree was awful, and it wasn't until I switched majors (from nutrition to psych) that things turned around academically. That actually gave me some hope and made me less depressed and therefore less reliant on the ED to cope. Also, after I started recovering, I started dating someone (my husband!) who was great in so many ways. He had no clue about eating disorders and psychiatric issues in general, but the relationship gave me motivation to continue to heal also. Of course, no guy will ever FIX any problem in your life, especially something of this magnitude -- but this relationship was a far cry from the very unhealthy relationship I had been in during the worst of the ED and depression (which was making things worse).
What else...I think part of me just got tired of dealing with this stuff for so many years. I wish it hadn't taken that long, but I can't change that now. Once I started recovery and had days and then weeks and then months purge-free, it became much easier. It has always been harder for me to go back to purging when I have a streak going. Sometimes that was the ONLY thing that kept me going! At some points, it had been 2 or 3 years and I was so triggered and tempted but didn't give in because I feared starting over again. And I think you know this, but I did relapse after having several years (3, I think) purge-free. It was very hard to get back on track after that but I eventually did. At one point I went back to therapy, even though I was finishing up my master's degree in counseling and so embarrassed to be seeking counseling myself (it's actually not that rare though).
One other thing -- you have to distance yourself from triggers as much as possible. Even after I was in recovery, I would still sometimes look at those 'thinspiration' groups, as much as I hated the very idea. I really think that held me back, even if just mentally. Because I could never be satisfied with how I looked when I kept seeing all these too-thin people. I can't remember when -- either when I found out I was pregnant or when I actually had David -- but I committed to stop looking at those communities and sites then.
Commitment seems to be the theme. I think you have a great plan with the ED meetings and therapy. It helps to have someone to be accountable to. Also, it helps to have support -- professional and friends. During some of my roughest times, my friends and church were such a big help. That's true now, too, even though I'm just maintaining recovery. You need to get yourself in a healthy environment and around healthy people.
I'm sorry if I've gone on too long. I am really hoping that you will turn things around this year. You have the ability to!
{{{{{{}}}}}
Jenn