luckytexas13

Getting There...

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:08:48 GMT

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Things got really bad for a month or so. I didn't have the money to see my therapist and ran out of my meds (my insurance dropped when I turned 25 recently) so I basically could do nothing but eat for a month.

However, a little over a week ago, I started really thinking about trying hard to recover. I juice fasted (with one small meal per day) for a few days bc I was afraid eating would lead to a binge. It ususally does. Then I started eating more (nutritious) foods and less juice. I'm still drinking V8 and plum smart lite, though, but a LOT of water. So I went 4 days w/o purging and the past few purging once per day. I won't do it today. I also decided to stop doing some bad things I was involved in.

Right now, I'm in training at a new job at a nice bar/restaurant as a cocktail waitress. It's going to be tough, but I'll have extra ability now that I'm getting nutrition. Hopefully I'll make money soon, bc I have NONE right now and owe a lot of it! But yeah, that's all

Snow Day

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:09:59 GMT

Well, down here in Texas we're having some "severe weather," although I don't see anything going on. I was up before 7 and actually looking forward to my classes today, but no, they are cancelled. Annnnd, my new ed specialist therapist cancelled. Oh well she's pregnant so I forgive her. Anyone else out of school for bad weather today? What are ya doin'?

So you would think this lack of activity and uncertainty would trigger multiple binges, but I've been good today. I had some V8 when I woke up and this fabulously filling Kashi vanilla oatmeal with cranberry juice earlier. I'm about to have a tuna/cracker pack and apple I guess. Later maybe a Lean Cuisine. I REALLY want this to be the beginning of something, you know? Half a day can turn into one, then two....

Ya'll know I gotta put some guy info in here to make it authentic Beth! So this guy I dated a few months ago (much older and liked him lots) facebooked me saying to call him. I don't have his number, so I sent him mine... I wonder what he wants. I'm dating someone new (and younger than me) but it's not serious. The suspense is killing me, although I'm a little irked bc it took me a while to get over him and he just needs to leave me alone!

School and Stuff

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:09:59 GMT

Guess what happened this weekend? I bought a new LG shine silver phone (fabulous) and that exact night it got stolen from my purse along with 10 dollars. My guy says his friends are trustworthy and insists I lost the phone, but how does 10 dollars walk out of my wallet? That's it, I'm never getting that drunk again!! 2-3 drinks max now and water in between. If you care, I drink vanilla vodka soda water bc it's lo cal. So I ordered a new phone and they put the 248 dollars on my next phone bill.

Today is our first day of school and super busy for me. I took my kitten to the vet, went to therapy, two classes, next is lunch, bank, talk to teachers, class, workout, Whole Foods, dinner. Sheesh I am so tired already. My goal is to make it through the day binge free. My binging has cut down to 1-2 times per day, so that's a lot better than 3-4. I'm trying...

Intro

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 23:49:15 GMT

Well, Tuesday (the 13th) is my 25th birthday. I can't believe I'm THAT old and have accomplished so little. Why? Well, the bulimia. For over 6 years, it certainly has not paid off. I have less than a year of college left to finish my psychology degree, but don't think it will EVER get done. I can't keep a job and am really tired of begging for money from my parents. I've only had one bf in the past 5 years and seem unable to attract another, though I go on numerous dates.

I was going to try Dallas Presbyterian for treatment, but my insurance will be up at the end of the month, so I'm not sure it will help. I'm thinking of starting a new plan and actually TRYING to get better on my own. That plan, if I decide on it, will consist of going to therapy at the school's health center twice a week and attending the EDAnon meetings in Dallas each week. I really don't want to drop out of school. I'm sorry this post is so whiny, but does any one have TIPS for active recovery which really help them? My main goal is to abstain from binging. I won't purge small meals, and I'll work on body image and self esteem in therapy. It's the actions that need to stop first.